fran
Full Member
Posts: 216
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Post by fran on Nov 13, 2006 14:41:28 GMT -5
An Indian walked into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He said to the waiter:"Want coffee" The waiter said, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."
He got the Indian a tall mug of coffee.The Indian drank the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasted the buffalo with the shotgun, causing a huge mess and then he just walked out.
The next morning the Indian returned.
He had his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walked up to the counter and said to the waiter "Want coffee."
The waiter said "Whoa There, Sir! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday."
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiled and proudly said, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
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Post by basstravels on Nov 14, 2006 0:27:49 GMT -5
Nice Fran!
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 14, 2006 9:11:45 GMT -5
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home
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Post by beccasdancingagain on Nov 14, 2006 19:22:54 GMT -5
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 14, 2006 20:29:23 GMT -5
What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth.
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Post by natdaddy on Nov 15, 2006 9:23:48 GMT -5
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Post by beccasdancingagain on Nov 15, 2006 14:51:31 GMT -5
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 19, 2006 12:12:06 GMT -5
yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:44:11 GMT -5
I love "Yo Mama" jokes....
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:44:50 GMT -5
Here's a blonde joke. There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:47:22 GMT -5
Yeah, they're silly but that's the point. Yo mama! Your mama so nasty, that after we had phone sex I got an ear infection!
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:50:20 GMT -5
Yo' mama so ugly, even the garbageman won't pick her up!
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought masturbation was a karate teacher
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:52:08 GMT -5
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:52:50 GMT -5
What does NASCAR stand for? Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
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drumsadeconga
Junior Member
I'm going to blow up your earth!!!
Posts: 62
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Post by drumsadeconga on Nov 21, 2006 9:53:53 GMT -5
Too much coffee this morning...
Yo Mama''so fat she was on Jerry Springer and Ricky Lake at the same time.
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